Do You Live to Work, Or Work to Live?

Do you ever wonder why we work like we work? Why does working time last those eight hours, and why does it take the best part of the day? Who made it this way? And why? It all started with the Industrial Revolution in the early 19th century, which culminated into a real nightmare for most of the workers, especially in large factories, where long working hours were mandatory and kept people outside their homes all day long. The working day was 10 to 16 hours, six days a week, and not only for adults. Use of children was cheap and preferable. Deaths and illnesses from exhaustion were common, and it was cruel and inhuman. Eventually, the nightmare spread from workers toward capitalists as well, in form of rise of social movement with Robert Owen's famous slogan, "Eight hours labour, eight hours recreation, eight hours rest".


Well, today, almost two centuries later, we now live, more or less, in Owen's vision, working around eight hours per day and enjoying our lives during or after work. Or both. Nobody today dies from the job. Well, not due to poor working conditions, anyways. Perhaps some of us are in danger ofdeath by boredom on some rainy days in the office, but, and again more or less, today we are in control of our professional careers. On the other end, if you ask me, even these eight hours are sometimes too long. Many times. They say that with age comes wisdom, but also comes a certain dosage of laziness, especially in the second part of the working hours. After 20 years of continuous work in my professional career, eight hours now seems too long. I passed that period in my life with idealistic thoughts and glimpses of the world as it is, waiting for me to make the difference. If you are in your forties, there are other variables that must be included in private and professional life. Middle-age crisis, for example. Not enough challenges like before. Too much routine in both lives. Too competitive an environment, to say the least, wherever you look. Generation gaps. Following faster ways of living. And you don't have to be in your forties anymore to feel the difference or experience injustice.

Perhaps it is time again for another Robert Owen to appear and try to shorten this eight hours to six or less. Or to try and modify the working habits and move everything possible to freelancing and outsourcing. To ban offices in those businesses that still insist on using them in old-fashioned ways, although the entire job can be done today from a kitchen table and home wifi. Before, when I was a teenager and later when I was trying to take the first step in my professional career, they used to say that major changes will come in the 21st century. The new millennium will change everything. Well, the 14th year now in the new spectacular century is about to expire in a few months, and I can't notice anything majorly different. More or less. But still, the major question from the old times is still there. Do you live to work, or do you work to live?


It would be unfair if I continued with this story without answering it first. And to be honest, from the beginning and my first employment, I always worked to live. For me, family and home was, is, and will always be number one. No exceptions. No matter how important the project I was involved in was. But to be completely honest, if I used a scale from minus ten to ten, where -10 means full commitment to the job, while +10 is the finest family time, I would not score the biggest number too often. I don't think I score it easily even today. It is impossible. Sometimes, if it comes into my life challenged and pure, the job can suck me in for days. Months, even. But always let me go. So my number is within a wide scale from -5 to the very high of 9, with more positive than negative values. Ten only sometimes. And I want to keep it that way. If I looked to all my half-a-dozen companies I was working with in my former professional life, the cruel truth is, with a couple of exceptions, that I didn't stay in touch with my former co-workers. We all moved along. Simply put, while our intelligence and education define us completely, our curriculum vitae is nothing more than a document only worthwhile during searching for a new job. Nobody cares what is written inside while you are having a steady job. Only in between two of them.

But enough with work; let's see the other side of the medal. The story I wanted to tell in the first place, and maybe unconsciously, I started with too long an introduction. What actually inspired me for today's story is Tony Parsons—British journalist and novel author. About a month ago, after I read three of Harlan Coben's thrillers in a row and two of James Patterson's Alex Cross series during the summer, I felt that I needed a break from tension and crime stories. But I can't really swallow those light readings with love stories in the foreground, so I went in search of something different—hoping to find a story based on ordinary life, family affairs, or one of those with "true story" written on the main cover. Tony Parsons, with his "Man and Boy" trilogy, gave me exactly what I wanted. And more.


If you didn't read it already, I recommend it warmly. It is about a typical family of the early 21st century, filled with both pain and love, surrounded by a tough life in one large city in which work and mortgage can destroy your life in a split second. Harry Silver, in the main role, shows us everything that might strike one modern family in one fast-forward world and where, no matter how he tries to maintain normal family life, this proves to be not entirely possible with all the mistakes and distractions from the job. It is also about conflicts between generations and what connects them. About the shallowness of business life. Friendships. This is the story that will force your eyes to let go of a tear or two too often, but also it will put a smile on your face every now and again as well.

I stumbled upon "Man and Boy" within Serbian Laguna, my favorite online bookshop, in their editor selection called "Laguna gems" or something like that, and after I reached the second cover, I felt hunger for more stories like this one. So I browsed the bookshop's online store again, secretly hoping for a sequel, and searched the author's page. To my surprise I found two more novels in the trilogy and also short news about the author visiting our town on the tour to promote his latest book. To cut the story short, I ordered the remaining novels, read them in record time, and yesterday Viktor and I grabbed the first book and went to the signing event to meet Tony in person. I knew that a person who was able to write Harry's adventures couldn't be much different than his main character, especially after I read somewhere that his personal life story has many connecting points with the novel itself. As it turned out, Tony Parsons was one great guy with nothing but the smile on his face despite the endless line of people waiting for the autographs. He was especially nice with Viktor and shared the fact that his middle name is also Victor, named after his father, so I can't resist not sharing the photo of two Viktors below. After the event, my son and I went to McDonald's for a Happy Meal to sort out our impressions, and later, the first thing he said to his mother when we came home was, "It was the best day!" I couldn't agree more.

Tony Victor Parsons & Viktor

Anyway, to resume the main story and in conclusion, my life outside work, in its current stage, is one huge place and full of wonders and challenges. No matter if I just read a book, watch a movie, do dishes, participate in a social occasion, play a game, travel, or enjoy precious family time, it is always far ahead of the most enjoyable project at work for which I, in the end, receive a paycheck. This always makes me feel that "work has this strange effect of zooming things larger than they really are".** Money is one great thing we can't live without, but sometimes, if not always, it manages to spoil the very essence of the work it is paid for. In the latest years, when I ask myself why I worked so hard on a project that gave me pleasurable time while it lasted, I always answer with "Oh yes, for the money'. And it wasn't my first thought when I asked myself the same question twenty years ago...

Image refs:
http://www.crosswalk.com/blogs/5-things-every-son-needs-to-hear-from-his-dad.html
https://vomitingdiamonds.wordpress.com/2013/02/24/boredom-at-the-office/

Refs:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Industrial_Revolution
* http://connections.msn.com/articles/detail/256476535
http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2011/05/typical-work-day-length/
** http://www.thehighcalling.org/work/work-life-balance
http://financecareers.about.com/od/careermanagement/a/LiveToWork.htm